我最大的愿望就是朱莉·貝克能離我遠點 All I ever wanted was for Juli Baker to leave me alone. 故事開始于 1957 年的夏天 It all began in the summer of 1957, 二年級開學的前夕 before the start of second grade. 我們到了 Here we are. -你們覺得如何

　-我喜歡這里 - What do you guys think? - I like this place. -棒極了

　-我的房♥間是什么顏色 - It"s cool. - Uh, what color is my room? 別急嘛 Just you wait. -我們進去瞧瞧

　-等等

　布萊斯 - Let"s see what"s inside. - Hey, come on, buddy Bryce. 你來幫我一起搬東西如何 Why don"t, uh, you and I go help unload the van... 女士們可以去把廚房♥收拾好 ...and the womenfolk here can get in the kitchen and start setting up. 好的

　爸爸 Okay, Dad. 對我而言

　這僅僅是我長達五年多的 For me, it was the beginning of what would be more than half a decade 躲避戰和社交不適的開端 of strategic avoidance and social discomfort. -你好

　我是朱莉·貝克

　-喂

　你干什么呢 - Hi, I"m Juli Baker. - Hey, hey, what are you doing? 要幫忙嗎 Don"t you want some help? 不用

　里面有貴重東西 No. There"s some valuable things in there. -那搬這個呢

　-不不不

　別動 - How about this one? - No, no, no. 快回家吧

　你媽媽該擔心了 Run home. Your mother"s probably wondering where you are. 不會

　我媽媽知道我在這兒

　她同意的 Oh, no, my mom knows where I am. She said it"s fine. 我很快發現這姑娘一點也不識趣 It didn"t take long to realize this girl could not take a hint. -三個人在這里太擠了

　-我不介意 - It"s crowded in here with three people. - I don"t mind. 太不識相了 Of any kind.

　一起來搬這箱子好嗎 You wanna push this one together? 布萊斯

　你不是要去幫媽媽嗎 Bryce, isn"t it time for you to go help your mother? 什么 Huh? 啊對

　沒錯 Oh, yeah. 什么都擋不住她 I mean, nothing would stop her. 我正想叫她滾開時候

　最囧的事情發生了 I was about to tell her to get lost when the weirdest thing happened. 真是難以置信 I couldn"t believe it. 我居然牽著一個陌生女孩的手 There I was holding hands with this strange girl. 我怎么會這么倒霉 How did I get into this mess? 你好啊 Well, hello. -你已經認識我兒子了

　-是啊 - I see you"ve met my son. - Uh-huh. 結果

　我做了七歲男子漢唯一能做的事 Finally, I did the only manly thing available when you"re 7 years old. 可是

　我的麻煩還遠未結束 However, my troubles were far from over. 當我一踏入埃爾森老師的教室... The minute I walked into Miss Yelson"s classroom... 布萊斯

　你來了 Bryce? You"re here. 顯然 ...it was clear: 學校也不是一方凈土 School would not be a sanctuary. 嘿

　布萊斯

　你女朋友呢 Hey, Bryce, where"s your girlfriend? 我的一世清名毀了 I was branded for life. 嘿

　布萊斯

　你怎么不向她求婚呢 Hey, Bryce, why don"t you ask her to marry you? 布萊斯和朱莉高高坐樹上 Bryce and Juli sitting in a tree 卿卿我我不分離 K-l-S-S-l-N-G

　我剛到鎮上的第一年就是場災難 My first year in town was a disaster. 瞧瞧他們 Look at them. 接下來三年也沒好到哪去 And the next three weren"t much better. 不過終于

　在六年級時

　我采取了行動 But finally, in the sixth grade, I took action. 我想出了個主意 I hatched the plan. 雪莉 Sherry. 雪莉

　等等我 Sherry, wait up. 你好

　布萊斯 Hi, Bryce. 我約了雪莉·斯圖出去 I asked out Sherry Stalls. 不知你是否愿意去... I was wondering if you wanted to go... 這個主意的絕妙之處在于 To full appreciate the brilliance of this plan... 朱莉討厭雪莉·斯圖 ...you have to understand that Juli hated Sherry Stalls... 盡管我不明就里 ...though I never understood why. 雪莉溫柔友善

　還有著一頭濃密的金發 Sherry was nice, friendly and she had a lot of hair. 起先

　我媽媽不同意我打耳洞

　可我不停請求 At first, my mother wouldn"t let me get my ears pierced, but I begged... 我的計劃是先和雪莉一起吃飯 The idea was that Sherry would eat with me... 之后我們也許能并肩而行 ...maybe we"d walk around together, 這樣朱莉大概就會知難而退了 and hopefully Juli would lose interest. 不過我還是不能在十六歲以前打耳洞 But I still can"t get the hoops till I"m 16. 真遺憾 Oh, that"s a shame. 美蘭妮也想打耳洞 So Melanie wanted to get her ears pierced, 她媽媽當然不同意啦 but of course her mother said no.

　然后她就大發脾氣 So she threw a fit and 把她的強尼·麥瑟斯精選集唱片砸了個稀爛 smashed her Johnny Mathis Greatest Hits album... 于是就被關起來了 ...and she got grounded, so 她也不能參加我的睡衣派對了 now she can"t come to my pajama sleepover party. 事情進展得異常順利 Things were unfolding quite nicely. 你的科學展作品準備得怎樣了 What are you doing for your science project? 直到被我當作死黨的伽利特·艾賓德 That is, until my supposed best friend, Garrett Einbinder... 也對雪莉發起了攻勢 ...took an interest in Sherry himself. 我打算展示 I was thinking of showing how 不同護發素對頭發分叉的影響 split ends react with different hair conditioners. 太有趣了 That"s fascinating. 這個重色輕友的叛徒伽利特 Loyalty gave way to desire and Garrett, the turncoat... 告訴了雪莉我的意圖 ...told Sherry what I was up to. 混♥蛋♥ Jerk. 她很生氣 She didn"t take it well. 再說到朱莉

　 Word got back to Juli, 她很快又開始含情脈脈地注視我 and pretty soon she started up with the goo-goo eyes again. 不過這次更糟 Only this time it was worse. 她開始聞我 She started sniffing me. 沒錯

　聞我 That"s right, sniffing me. 那是干什么呢 What was that all about? 我唯一的慰藉就是期望明年會有所改變 My only consolation was that next year would be different.

　上初中學校更大 Junior high, bigger school. 也許我們不會分到一個班

　就終于能分開了 Maybe we"d be in different classes and it would finally, finally be over. 我遇到布萊斯·洛斯奇的第一天就怦然心動了 The first day I met Bryce Loski, I flipped. 他的眼睛

　那雙明亮迷人的眼睛吸引了我 It was those eyes, something in those dazzling eyes. 一起來搬這箱子好嗎 You wanna push this one together? 當時

　他家剛搬到我家對面 His family had just moved into the neighborhood... 我跑過去幫助他們 ...and I"d gone over to help them. 我爬上貨車才兩分鐘 I"d been in the van all of two minutes 他爸爸就叫他去給他媽媽幫忙 when his dad sent him off to help his mom. 看得出來他并不愿意 I could see he didn"t wanna go. 于是我跟著他 So I chased after him to see if 看能不能在他進去忙活之前跟他玩一會 we could play a little before he got trapped inside. 后來不知怎的他就握著我的手了 The next thing I know, he"s holding my hand... 注視著我的眼睛 ...and looking right into my eyes. 我的心跳都停止了 My heart stopped. 就是這種感覺嗎 Was this it? 這會是我的初吻嗎 Would this be my first kiss? -可這時他媽媽出來了

　-你好啊 - But then his mother came out. - Well, hello. 他很不好意思

　羞得滿臉通紅 And he was so embarrassed, his cheeks turned completely red. 那晚

　我躺在床上 I went to bed that night 幻想著那個極可能發生的吻 thinking of the kiss that might have been. 很明顯他對我也有意思 I mean, it was clear he had feelings for me,

　只是他太害羞而不敢表達 but he was just too shy to show them. 媽媽說男孩子就是這樣 My mother said boys were like that. 于是我決定幫助他

　 So I decided to help him out. 布萊斯

　你來啦 Bryce? You"re here. 我要給他許多機會來克服害羞 I would give him plenty of opportunity to get over his shyness. 到了六年級

　我收斂了不少 By the sixth grade, I"d learned to control myself. 結果雪莉·斯圖闖了進來 Then Sherry Stalls entered the picture. 雪莉·斯圖不過是個愛發牢騷 Sherry Stalls was nothing but a whiny, 八卦

　喜歡暗箭傷人的輕佻女孩 gossipy, backstabbing flirt. 秀發迷人但徒有其表 All hair and no substance. 她過來了 And there she was... 與布萊斯十指緊扣

　是我的布萊斯 ...holding hands with Bryce. My Bryce. 這個人還等待著我的初吻呢 The one was walking around with my first kiss. 我的對策就是無視她

　我知道聰明如布萊斯 My solution was to ignore her. I knew a boy of Bryce"s caliber... 終有一天會識穿雪莉·斯圖的淺薄 ...would eventually see through a shallow conniver like Sherry Stalls. 果然不出一周

　他們在午休時分手了 It took all of a week. They broke up at recess. 她很生氣 She didn"t take it well. 布萊斯逃離了雪莉的魔爪 Now that Bryce was out of Sherry"s evil clutches, 他對我的態度也好多了 he started being nicer to me. -你好

　朱莉

　-你好

　布萊斯 - Hi, Juli. - Hi, Bryce. 他是如此靦腆

　如此可愛 He was so shy and so cute... 他的發間散發著淡淡的西瓜味 ...and his hair, it smelled like watermelon.

　我總是聞不夠 I couldn"t get enough of it. 一整年我都在偷偷聞著那股西瓜味 I spent the whole year secretly sniffing watermelon... 幻想著我何時能得到我的初吻 ...and wondering if I was ever going to get my kiss. 初一時發生了許多變化 Seventh grade brought changes, all right. 不過最大的變化不是發生在學校 But the biggest one didn"t happen at school. 而是在家 It happened at home. 我外公搬來與我們同住 My grandfather came to live with us. 媽媽說他總這樣呆望是因為他想外婆了 Mom said he stared like that because he missed Grandma. 外公可不會對我說這些 That was not something Grandpa would ever talk about with me. 事實上

　他很少跟我說話 As a matter of fact, he never talked about much of anything with me. 直到有天朱莉上了當地的報紙 That is, until Juli appeared in the local newspaper. -布萊斯

　能跟你聊兩句嗎

　-怎么了 - Oh, Bryce. May I speak with you? - What? 坐下吧

　孩子 Have a seat, son. 跟我說說你的朋友朱莉·貝克 Tell me about your friend Juli Baker. 朱莉

　她不算是我的朋友 Juli. She"s not exactly my friend. 是嗎

　為什么 Oh. Why"s that? 你為什么想知道 Why do you wanna know? 上初二的朱莉·貝克登上《梅菲德時報》 Now, Juli Baker did not wind up in The Mayfield Times... 可不是因為什么天才成就 ...for being an eighth-grade Einstein. 《梅菲德時報》

　13 歲女孩抗♥議♥伐樹 相反

　她上了報紙頭版 No, she got front-page coverage 是因為她不肯爬下一棵梧桐樹 because she refused to climb out of a sycamore tree. 朱莉·貝克和那棵傻乎乎的梧桐樹

　Juli Baker and that stupid sycamore tree. 她總是以為 She always thought 那樹是上帝賜給我們這個小地方的禮物 it was God"s gift to our little corner of the universe. 布萊斯

　來跟我和我哥哥一起爬樹吧 Hey, Bryce. Wanna come climb the tree with me and my brothers? 不了

　謝謝 No, thanks. 布萊斯

　快上來

　好玩極了 Bryce. Come up here. It"s fun. -你能看到一切

　-我來不了 - You can see everything. - I can"t. 爸爸要我幫他修... My dad needs me to help him fix... 修個東西 ...a thing. 我得扯個借口 That"s all I needed. 和朱莉·貝克一起爬樹 Climb up a tree with Juli Baker. 那還不得把我打回小學二年級去 I"d be dragged right back into the second grade. 布萊斯和朱莉高高坐樹上 Bryce and Juli sitting in a tree. 你還不如讓我一輩子吃素算了 Why don"t you just make me eat lima beans for the rest of my life. 還有三個街區 It"s three blocks away. 兩個街區 Two blocks. 還有一個街區就到了 One block away. 搞得像什么重大消息似的 Like that"s valuable information. 我討厭她一直這樣預報 I hate it when she does that. 本來還能對校車不來了抱一丁點指望 I like to think there"s at least a chance the bus won"t show. 我覺得晨曦中的梧桐樹格外美麗

　你覺得呢 I think the tree looks particularly beautiful in this light. Don"t you? 如果你所說的美麗是指無與倫比的丑陋 If by "beautiful" you mean "unbelievably ugly," 那么沒錯

　我同意

　Then, yes, I would agree. 你眼睛出問題了

　真為你惋惜 You"re just visually challenged. I feel sorry for you. "眼睛出問題了"? "Visually challenged"? "眼睛出問題了"? "Visually challenged"? 這話居然出自一個 This from the girl who lived 自家房♥子被街坊當成笑柄的女孩之口 in a house that was the joke of the neighborhood? 她家的灌木叢竄得有窗戶那么高 They had bushes growing over windows 院子里到處雜草叢生 and weeds all over the place. 搞得我爸爸很無奈 It bugged my dad bigtime. 瞧

　他又開始畫了 Oh, there he is. 那個自以為是個畫家的磚瓦匠 The bricklayer who thinks he"s a painter. 還嫌那卡車不夠丑嗎 That truck"s not ugly enough in real life? 他居然還要把它畫下來 He"s gotta make a painting of it? 不

　他畫的是風景畫

　拿到縣集市上去賣♥♥ No, he does landscapes. Sells them at the county fair. 大家都說他的畫很漂亮 People say they"re beautiful. 風景畫

　告訴你吧 Landscapes? Let me tell you something. 如果他肯把他那雜亂的院子稍微收拾一下 The world would have more beauty in it... 這個世界將會變得更美麗 ...if he"d do a little landscaping on that piece of crap he calls a yard. 我真同情他妻子

　她嫁了個空想家 I feel bad for his wife. She married a dreamer. 因此他們倆總有一人要忍♥受不幸 Because of that, one of the two of them will always be unhappy. 管他呢

　可為什么我們也要受氣呢 Yeah, fine. But why do we have to be unhappy? 就如對門的院子讓我爸心煩一樣 As annoying as the yard was to my dad... 沒有比樹上的朱莉·貝克更煩人的了

　...it was nothing compared to how annoying Juli Baker was in that tree. 還有三個街區 Three blocks away. 每天早上我們都不得不聽著 Every morning we had to listen to the sound... 她那不厭其煩的校車預報 ...of her blow-by-blow traffic report. 兩個街區 Two blocks. 來了 There you go. 為什么要叫《活寶三人組》呢 Why do they call it The Three Stooges? -我是說明明有五個

　-什么 - I mean, there"s five of them. - What? 有莫爾

　拉瑞

　克里

　山普

　還有卷毛喬 Well, yeah, there"s Moe, Larry, Curly, Shemp and Curly Joe. 對

　不過每次出場都只有三個

　 Yeah, but they only have three at a time. 也是 Yeah. 我不喜歡卷毛喬 You know, I hate Curly Joe. 他根本就算不上是活寶 I mean, he shouldn"t even be a Stooge. 聽著

　小姑娘

　我就要報♥警♥了 Listen, girl, I"m this close to calling the police. 你這是擅闖私人領地

　妨礙正常施工 You are trespassing and obstructing progress on a contracted job. -怎么回事

　-要么你自己下來 - What"s going on? - Either you come down... 要么我們就把你砍下來了 ...or we"re gonna cut you down. 布萊斯

　你們也爬上來 Bryce, you guys, come up here with me. 如果我們都在樹上

　他們就不敢砍 They won"t cut it down if we"re all up here. -車來了

　車來了

　-朱莉抓狂了 - Bus, bus, bus. - Juli was frantic. 他們想砍掉她的樹 They wanted to cut down her tree. 我真不明白 I couldn"t understand why 她怎么那么在乎那棵長得歪七扭八的樹

　that mutant tangle of gnarly branches meant so much to her. 布萊斯

　求你了 Bryce, please. -我挺同情她

　-別管她了 - I felt bad for her. - Leave her. 但我不想因此逃課 But I wasn"t about to cut school over it. 快來

　哥們兒 Come on, bro. 為什么她不是你的朋友

　布萊斯 Why isn"t she your friend, Bryce? 你得先了解朱莉 You"d have to know Juli. 我正想了解 Well, I"d like to. 為什么 Why? 那姑娘很有骨氣 That girl has an iron backbone. 干嘛不請她過來玩呢 Why don"t you invite her over sometime? 很有骨氣? An iron backbone? 她就是很倔吧 She"s just stubborn... 固執得要命 ...and she"s pushy beyond belief. 是嗎 Is that so? 從二年級起她就一直纏著我 And she"s been stalking me since the second grade. 并非人人都能和這樣的女孩做鄰居 Well, a girl like that doesn"t live next door to everyone. 那他們很幸運 Lucky them. 看看這個 Read this. 放下成見 Without prejudice. 好像我還不夠了解朱莉·貝克似的 Like I needed to know anything more about Juli Baker. 第二天早上朱莉沒去等校車 Juli wasn"t at the bus stop the next morning. 第三天早上也沒有

　Or the morning after that. 她來上學了

　可不知道她是怎么來的 She was at school, but you"d never know it. -小喬?

　他化了很重的妝

　-他又不老 - Little Joe? He"s got so much makeup on... - He doesn"t age. 我對自己說應該感到高興才對 I told myself I should be glad about it. 這不正是我想要的嗎 I mean, isn"t that what I"d always wanted? 但我還是很為她難過 But still, I felt bad for her. 我想去跟她道歉

　可轉念一想

　不行 I was gonna tell her I was sorry, but then I thought, hey, no... 我決不能讓朱莉·貝克以為 ...that"s the last thing I needed: 我想她了 Juli Baker thinking I missed her. 我知道你為何喜歡來這里了 I see why you like to come out here. 你能讓你媽也明白就好了 Would you mind explaining it to your mother? 我喜歡看爸爸畫畫 I loved to watch my father paint. 或者說我是喜歡他邊畫畫邊與我聊天 Or really, I loved to hear him talk while he painted. 我就這樣了解了爸爸很多的事 I learned a lot about my dad that way. 他與我談天說地 He told me all sorts of things... 比如他是如何找到送干草的第一份工作的 ...like how he got his first job delivering hay 還有他真希望當年能念完大學 and how he"d wished he"d finished college. 有一天

　他的話讓我很意外 Then one day he surprised me. 你和布萊斯·洛斯奇怎么回事 What"s going on with you and, uh, Bryce Loski? 你指什么

　沒什么啊 What do you mean? Nothing. 好吧 Oh, okay. 是我想多了 My mistake. 你為什么會這么想

　Why would you even think that? 不為什么 No reason. 只是你... Just that you... 老是在說他 ...talk about him all the time. 我有嗎 I do? 是啊 Mm-hm. 我不知道 I don"t know. 我猜是因為他的眼睛吧 I guess it"s something about his eyes. 或是因為他的微笑 Or maybe his smile. 那他的人呢 But what about him? -什么

　-你得觀其全貌 - What? - You have to look at the whole landscape. 這是什么意思 What does that mean? 一幅畫并不是各個部分的簡單相加 A painting is more than the sum of its parts. 奶牛單獨看就是奶牛 A cow by itself is just a cow. 草場就其本身也只是草和花 A meadow by itself is just grass, flowers. 而穿過樹枝的陽光也不過是一線光束 And the sun peeking through the trees is just a beam of light. 但當你把它們結合到一起... But you put them all together... 奇跡就發生了 ...and it can be magic. 我并不十分理解他所說的話 I didn"t really understand what he was saying 直到那天下午 until one afternoon... 當我爬上那棵梧桐樹 ...when I was up in the sycamore tree. 我去夠一只掛住的風箏 I was rescuing a kite. 風箏掛得很高

　是我從未爬上去過的高度

　It was a long way up, higher than I"d ever been. 我爬得越高

　就越被眼前的美景所震撼 And the higher I got, the more amazed I was by the view. 我開始嗅到微風中的曼妙氣息 I began to notice how wonderful the breeze smelled. 像是陽光和野草的芬芳 Like sunshine and wild grass. 我貪婪地呼吸著 I couldn"t stop breathing it in... 讓最清甜的空氣充滿身體 filling my lungs with the sweetest smell I"d ever known. 你找到我的風箏了 Hey, you found my kite. 布萊斯

　你應該到這上面來看看 Bryce, you should come up here. 太美了 It"s so beautiful. 不行

　我扭傷了我的... I can"t. I sprained my, um... 我起了疹子 I have a rash. 從那一刻起

　這里就成了我的小天地 From that moment on, that became my spot. 我能在那一待幾個小時

　 I could sit there for hours, 就從上面眺望著這個世界 just looking out at the world. 有時候落日是紫色和粉色的 Some days the sunsets would be purple and pink. 有時候則是熾烈的桔黃色 And some days they were a blazing orange... 燃燒著地平線上的云 setting fire to the clouds on the horizon. 有一次看著這樣的落日 It was during one of those sunsets that 我突然領悟了爸爸所說的那個概念 my father"s idea of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts... 整體大于部分之和 moved from my head to my heart. 有時候我會起得格外早來這里看日出 Some days I would get there extra early to watch the sunrise. 一天早上

　我正在用心記下 One morning I was making mental notes... 萬道霞光穿透云層的模樣

　of how the streaks of light were cutting through the clouds... 好回去與爸爸分享 so I could tell my dad... 突然聽到下面傳來噪音 when I heard a noise below. 不好意思 Excuse me. 不好意思

　對不起 Excuse me. I"m sorry, 你不能把車停在那

　那是校車站 but you can"t park there. That"s a bus stop. 你在上面干什么呢 Hey, what are you doing up there? 你不能待在上面

　我們要把它砍倒 You can"t be up there, we"re gonna take this thing down. -這棵樹嗎

　-是的

　下來吧 - The tree? - Yeah. Now come on down. -誰批準你砍樹了

　-樹的主人 - But who told you, you could cut it down? - The owner. 為什么 Why? 他要蓋一座房♥子

　這棵樹礙事了 He"s gonna build a house, and this tree"s in the way. 下來

　小姑娘

　我們得干活了 So come on, girl, we got work to do. 你不能把它砍倒

　就是不能 You can"t cut it down. You just can"t. 聽著

　小姑娘

　我就要報♥警♥了 Listen, girl. I"m this close to calling the police. 你這是擅闖私人領地

　妨礙正常施工 You are trespassing and obstructing progress on a contracted job. 要么你自己下來

　要么我們就把你砍下來了 Now either you come down, or we"re gonna cut you down. 來啊

　你們砍吧 Go ahead. Cut me down. 我不下去

　我絕不下去 I"m not coming down. I"m never coming down. 布萊斯

　你們也爬上來 Bryce. You guys, come up here with me. 如果我們都在樹上

　他們就不敢砍了 They won"t cut it down if we"re all up here. 布萊斯

　求你了

　別讓他們砍樹 Bryce, please don"t let them do this. 你們上來啊

　Come on, you guys. 布萊斯

　求你了

　 Bryce, please. 你們不用爬這么高

　上來一點就行了 You don"t have to come up this high. Just a little ways. 布萊斯

　求你了

　求你了 Bryce, please. Please. 后來的事情我記不清了 What happened after that was a blur. 好像整個鎮上的人都來了 It seemed like the whole town was there. 但我還是沒動 But still I wouldn"t move. 后來我爸爸來了 Then my father showed up. 他說服了一個消防員

　讓他爬上來找我 He talked a fireman into letting him come up to where I was. 親愛的

　現在該下來了 Sweetie, it"s time to come down. 爸爸

　求你別讓他們砍樹 Daddy, please don"t let them do this. -親愛的

　-爸爸

　你看 - Sweetie... - Daddy, look. 你能看到一切

　從這里你能看到全世界 You can see everything. You can see the whole world from here. 什么美景都沒我女兒的安全重要 No view is worth my daughter"s safety. 來吧 Now, come on. 不要 I can"t. 朱莉安娜

　現在該下來了 Julianna, it"s time to come down now. 求你了

　爸爸 Please, Daddy. 該下來了 It"s time. 事情就是這樣 And that was it. 我哭了足有兩個星期 I must"ve cried for two weeks straight. 當然

　我還是去上學了

　盡力表現好點 Oh, sure, I went to school and did the best I could... 但一切似乎都不重要了

　but nothing seemed to matter. -朱莉

　-啊? - Juli? - Huh? 你知道答案是什么嗎 Do you know the answer? 伯羅奔尼撒戰爭 Uh, the Peloponnesian War? 你真是答非所問 I"m sure that"s the answer to something... 我問的是菱形的面♥積♥ but I was looking for the area of a rhomboid. 不知怎么了

　菱形和等腰直角三角形 Somehow, rhomboids and isosceles right triangles... 似乎沒那么重要了 didn"t seem so important. 我騎車去上學

　這樣就不用看見那個樹樁 I rode my bike so I wouldn"t have to pass by the stump... 那曾經是地球上最壯美的梧桐樹 that used to be the earth"s most magnificent sycamore tree. 但不論做什么

　我都在想著它 But no matter what I did, I couldn"t stop thinking about it. 你還好吧 Are you okay? 只是棵樹而已 It was just a tree. 不

　不只是棵樹 No, it wasn"t just a tree. 我希望你永遠不要忘記在上面的感覺 I never want you to forget how you felt when you were up there. 謝謝

　爸爸 Thanks, Dad. 這幅畫每天隨我起床 It was the first thing I saw every morning... 伴我入眠 and the last thing I saw before I went to sleep. 當我看到它不再哭泣時 And once I could look at it without crying... 我看到了樹以外的東西

　 I saw more than the tree 明白了在它上面對我的意義 and what being up there meant to me. 那天起

　我看周圍事物的眼光開始改變 I saw the day that my view of things around me started changing. 然后我在想

　And I wondered, 我對布萊斯的感覺還和以前一樣嗎 did I still feel the same things about Bryce? 我一直對蛋沒什么特別感覺 I"ve never been a huge fan of eggs. 我的意思是

　有也可以

　沒有也行 I mean, I could always just take them or leave them. 直到那天在斯凱勒·布朗的車♥庫♥里 That is, until one day in Skyler Brown"s garage... 我對蛋的感覺徹底固定了 when my feelings about eggs were solidified. 諸位諸位

　艾娜發現它的早餐了 Hey, hey, hey. Guys. Edna"s found her breakfast. 我是說

　如果粘乎乎的爬蟲喜歡吃這東西 I mean, if a slimy reptile found them appetizing... 那我是絕對不會再碰了 there was certainly no place for them in my diet. 實在是太酷了 Oh, man, that"s so cool. 它甚至不用嚼 She doesn"t even have to chew. 想想

　省了多少時間啊 I mean, think of all the time you"d save. 我本來一輩子都不會知道蛇是生吞雞蛋的 I could"ve gone my whole life not knowing that snakes eat eggs raw... 都是因為琳妮塔 if it hadn"t been for Lynetta. 她和斯凱勒·布朗關系不一般 She had a major-league thing for Skyler Brown. 我覺得很惡心 I think it"s gross. 他和朱莉的哥哥馬特和馬克組了個樂隊 He and Juli"s brothers, Matt and Mark, had formed a band. 琳妮塔經常去看他們排練 And Lynetta would watch them practice. 真是太棒了 That is so neat. 怎么樣

　布萊斯 How about that, huh, Bryce? 是啊

　很棒 Yeah. Neat. 布萊斯

　你覺得它要怎么消化這蛋 So, Brycie, how do you think he"s gonna digest that? -用胃酸嗎

　-估計你就會這樣想

　- Stomach acid? - You"d like to think that. 大家安靜

　看好了 Wait, everybody quiet. Here he goes. 煎荷包蛋了 Eggs over easy. 惡心

　惡心 Gross. Gross, gross, gross. 等等

　你還沒看見最精彩的呢 Wait, wait. You haven"t seen the best part. 真惡心 Gross. 我試圖保持淡定

　但不太成功 I tried to be casual about it, but it didn"t take. 我開始做噩夢 I started having bad dreams. 夢到我被困在一個巨大的蛋里 I"d be trapped inside a huge egg... 一只怪獸正要張開大嘴把我吞掉 and this monster would open his jaws and start to devour me. 幸好這時我醒了 I"d wake up just in time. 然后真正的噩夢開始了 Then the real nightmare began. 布萊斯

　我給你們拿了些這個 Hi, Bryce. I brought these over for you and your family. -我的雞下蛋了

　-什么 - My chickens are laying eggs. - What? 你記得小黑

　小黃 You remember Abby and Bonnie 阿♥扁♥

　阿呆

　點點和花花嗎 and Clyde and Dexter and Eunice and Florence? -我在科技展上孵化的

　-怎么可能忘 - The ones I hatched for the science fair. - How could I forget? 這就是經典的朱莉·貝克 It was classic Juli Baker. 她在展覽上出盡風頭 She totally dominated the fair. 你想

　她做的項目就是觀察無聊的孵蛋過程 And get this, her project was all about watching boring eggs hatch. 而我可是有一座實景噴發的火山啊 I mean, here I had a live-action erupting volcano... 但所有人都在關注朱莉的無聊小雞 and all anyone cared about was Juli"s boring chicks... 從它們的無聊蛋殼里破殼而出

　breaking out of their boring shells. 最后一只好像要出來了 Oh, I think the last one"s hatching. -出來了

　-出來了 - It"s hatching. - Oh, it"s hatching. 孩子們

　過來 Kids, come over here. 她贏了

　我輸了 But hey, she won. I lost. 我總得不到大家垂青 I"ve never been one to dwell. 出來了 Here it comes. 但這并不意味著我得吃她惡心的雞蛋 But that didn"t mean I had to eat her lousy eggs. 朱莉真好

　送雞蛋給我們吃 I think it was very sweet of Juli to bring us those eggs. 才不稀罕

　我明早還吃麥片 I don"t care. I"m still having cereal tomorrow. 我們怎么知道那些蛋里有沒有小雞 Yeah, how do we know there"s no chicks in one of those eggs? 我小時候常吃農場的新鮮土雞蛋

　非常好吃 I used to eat farm-fresh eggs when I was a kid. They were delicious. 好吧

　是非常好 Yeah, well, that"s all well and good... 但萬一敲開

　結果出來一只死小雞怎么辦 but what if we crack one open and a dead chick falls out? 他們有公雞嗎 Do they have a rooster? 如果沒有公雞

　那蛋就不會受精 If they don"t have a rooster the eggs can"t be fertile. 如果他們養了公雞

　我們會知道的 And if they had a rooster, we"d know. 所有鄰居都會知道的 The whole neighborhood would know. 也許他們把它喔喔弄殘了 Maybe they got it de-yodeled. "喔喔弄殘了"? "De-yodeled"? 就是把它的喔喔喔給弄廢了 You know. De-cock-a-doodle-doo"d. 什么亂七八糟的 What the hell are you talking about? 就像把狗弄啞那樣

　Like they de-bark dogs. 布萊斯

　你干嘛不直接問朱莉呢 Bryce, why don"t you just ask Juli? -我不覺得...

　-什么 - I don"t think that... - What? -你怕和她說話嗎

　-我才不怕和她說話 - You afraid to talk to her? - I"m not afraid to talk to her. 我知道那是你

　那我是什么 I know you are, but what am I? 好了

　問問她就知道了 Okay. Just talk to her and find out. 你怎么知道什么樣的是公雞 How do you tell if one"s a rooster? 公雞更大

　羽毛更長 Well, a rooster"s bigger. Longer feathers. 它們頭上長著紅色的東西 They"ve got that red stuff growing out of their head. 脖子周圍也有 And around their neck too. 那應該不難認 That shouldn"t be too hard to spot. 不過話說回來 Although, come to think of it, 其它雞也有那種紅色肉瘤 chickens have the rubbery red stuff too. 只是沒那么大 Just not as much. 伽利特對公雞的精通 Garrett"s expertise in roosters... 是我們避免與朱莉·貝克接觸的基石 was the cornerstone of our plan to avoid contact with Juli Baker. 剩下要做的就是去偷♥窺♥她家后院了 The balance of which involved spying over her back fence. -快來

　快來

　-噓

　噓 - Come on, come on. - Shh. Shh. 就這里 Over here. 我看不見那些蠢雞 I can"t see the stupid chickens. 我們得讓它們從雞窩里出來 We gotta get them out of the coop. 那是公雞嗎 Is that a rooster? 不

　看起來像普通雞

　No, it looks like a chicken. 你怎么知道 How can you tell? 一看就知道 It just does. 看到了吧

　這就是精通 See what I mean? Expertise. -噓

　噓

　-怎么了 - Shh, shh! - What? 朱莉 Juli. 快來吃 Here, guys. 繼續

　快吃吧 Go on, there you go. -給

　接著吃

　-沒錯

　都是普通雞 - Here, guys. Go on. - Yeah, they"re all chickens. -沒有公雞嗎

　-我不是剛說了嗎 - There"s no rooster? - What did I just say? 你怎么知道 How can you tell? -沒有那種昂首闊步的雞

　-給

　來啊 - Well, none of them are strutting. - Here, come on. -公雞昂首闊步嗎

　-來吃啊 - Roosters strut? - Come on, guys. -我不是剛說了嗎

　-給 - What did I just say? - Here. 而且它們幾乎都沒長紅色肉瘤 Plus, hardly any of them have any rubbery red stuff. -你在干什么

　-它們絕對都是普通雞 - What are you doing? - Yeah. They"re definitely all chickens. 都是普通雞 They"re all chickens. 我為你驕傲

　布萊斯 I"m proud of you, Bryce. -你克服了自己的恐懼

　-什么 - You overcame your fear. - Huh? -你和她說話了

　-噢

　是啊 - You talked to her. - Oh, heh. Yeah. 沒什么大不了的 It"s no big deal. 她怎么和你說的

　都是普通雞嗎 That"s what she told you? They"re all chickens? 是啊

　Yeah. 她是個天才

　你們都是天才 She"s a genius. You"re both genius... 當然都是普通雞 Of course they"re all chickens. 公雞也是普通雞

　問題是 A rooster"s a chicken. The question is: 有沒有公雞

　或者說是否全是母雞 Is one of them a rooster or are they all hens? 母雞?

　什么時候提到過母雞 Hens? Who said anything about hens? 我明白了 Then it hit me. 伽利特根本不懂雞 Garrett didn"t know jack shit about chickens. -公雞都昂首闊步是嗎

　-是的

　沒錯 - Do roosters strut? - Yes, they do. 這又有什么關系 What does that have to do with anything? 它們都是母雞 They"re all hens. 重要的是雞蛋沒問題就行 Well, the main thing is the eggs are okay. 沒事了 It"s all settled. 對我來說可不是 Not for me. 我絕對不吃 There was no way I was ever gonna eat anything... 和朱莉·貝克有關的任何東西 that had anything to do with Juli Baker. 我不吃那些蛋 I"m not eating them. 為什么呢 Well, why not? 你看見他們的院子了嗎

　真是... Have you seen their yard? It"s... 連根草都沒有

　全是泥巴和雞屎 There"s not even any grass. It"s all mud and chicken turds. 惡心

　沙門氏菌 Ew. Gross. Salmonella. 你覺得這些蛋會有沙門氏菌嗎 Do you suppose they could have salmonella? -可能性不大

　-何必要冒險呢

　- It"s not very likely. - Why take the risk? 那這些雞蛋怎么辦 What do we do with the eggs? 退回去 Give them back. -退回去?

　給朱莉?

　-當然 - Give them back? To Juli? - Sure. 你和她說過話了

　對吧

　不會要你命的 You talked to her before, right? It didn"t kill you. 那我怎么說啊 Well, what do I say? 跟她說我們不吃雞蛋 Tell her we don"t eat eggs. 我們全家都對雞蛋過敏之類的 Uh, we"re allergic to them or something. 動動腦子 Come on, use your brains. 撒謊似乎不大好 It didn"t feel right to lie. 而且

　連初一的學生都知道 Besides, even a seventh grader would know 不可能全家都對雞蛋過敏的 that entire families aren"t allergic to eggs. 但我也不想傷害她的感情 But I didn"t wanna hurt her feelings either. 所以我別無選擇了 So that left me with only one option. 于是在我與朱莉·貝克的拉鋸戰中 And thus another near-death experience... 又一次致命接觸被成功避免了 in my ongoing saga with juli Baker had been successfully avoided. 直到一周后 Until one week later. 布萊斯

　又給你拿了些雞蛋 Hi, Bryce. Brought you some more eggs. -謝謝

　-你家人喜歡上一批嗎 - Thanks. - Did your family like the first batch? 還用問嗎 Do you even have to ask? 太好了

　學校見 Great. See you at school. 我本以為這是一次性事件 What I hoped would be a one-time event... 可這只是一段謊言陰謀和欺騙生涯的開始

　was just the beginning of a life consumed with lies, intrigue and deception. 每天早上我都盯著朱莉 Every morning I"d be on the lookout for Juli... 這樣如果她要來 so if she happened to come, 我就能在她敲門之前把門打開 I could whip the door open before she knocked. 謝謝 Thanks. 然后在有人注意到之前把雞蛋扔掉 Then I"d dump the eggs before anyone noticed. 這是為什么

　為什么我就是沒法面對她 And why? Why couldn"t I just face her? 為什么我就不能說 Why couldn"t I just say: 不

　謝謝

　不想要 "No, thanks. Don"t want them. 不需要

　拿去給蛇吃吧 Don"t need them. Give them to the snake"? 我是真的怕傷了她的感情呢 Was I really afraid of hurting her feelings... 還是因為我怕她呢 or was I just afraid of her? 現在

　你要確定你... Now, you wanna make sure you get it... 最初布貝老師建議我選孵蛋作科研課題時 When Mrs. Brubeck first suggested hatching eggs as my science project... 我還覺得沒多大意思 I was less than excited. 直到我第一次看到生命的跡象 That is, until I saw my first sign of life. 那就是嗎 Is that it? -那個就是胚胎

　-哇 - That"s the embryo. Heh. - Wow. -看起來像個豆子

　-確實 - It looks like a bean. - It does. 試試別的雞蛋 Let"s try the other ones. 突然感覺就真實起來了 Suddenly it felt real. 所有的蛋都是有生命的 All the eggs were alive. 就好象每個蛋里面都有一個豆子寶寶

　There were, like, little bean babies inside every one. 科學展那天

　六個蛋全都孵出小雞了 On the day of the fair, all six chicks hatched. 真沒想到啊 What are the odds? 科學展 今年的一等獎由朱莉·貝克獲得 This year"s top prize goes to Juli Baker... 她獲獎的的出色項目是 for her wonderful project: "一只雞的誕...

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