孔普雷中♥央♥監獄

　曼谷以南 37 英里 堅持就是勝利 宿醉 3 混&arts;蛋♥ Motherfuckers! 靠 Fuck. 尼瑪 Fuck! 我們快到家了

　哥們 We"re almost home, buddy! 喔 Whoo! 喔 Whoo! 喂... Hey... 我叫艾倫

　我買♥♥了頭長頸鹿 My name"s Alan and I bought a giraffe! 他是我的了 He"s all mine! 他超友好的 He"s super friendly! 哦

　哇 Oh, wow. 看那頭長頸鹿 Look at the giraffe. 天啊

　你覺得它要去哪兒? Oh, my God. Where do you think it"s going? 喔 Whoo! 哦

　我的生活棒極了

　我的生活棒極了 Oh, my life is great! I have a wonderful life! 限高 3.8 米 我的生活棒極了 I have a wonderful life! 馬路殺手

　無頭長頸鹿使 405 號♥高速封鎖 是的

　先生

　當然

　太感謝了

　不

　當然 Yes, sir. Absolutely, I will. Thank you so much. No, of course. 不

　不

　真的太對不起了 No, no. And again, I"m so sorry.

　市長打來的

　艾倫 That was the mayor, Alan. 這只是場意外 It was an accident. 你說過無論我做什么你都會愛我的 You said you"d always love me no matter what I did. 對啊

　你是我的最親的人 I know and I do. You"re my best friend. 可是

　艾倫

　你干嘛要買♥♥頭長頸鹿? But, Alan, why would you buy a giraffe? 我一直想要一頭 I"ve always wanted one. 我能在我的樹屋里喂他 I could feed him from my tree house. 而且

　它們讓我聯想到我自己 Besides, they remind me a lot of myself. 哪方面? In what way? 它們又高又大

　郁郁寡歡 They"re majestic, pensive and tall. -郁郁寡歡? -是啊 -Pensive? -Yeah. -你從哪兒學的這詞? -"跟小伙伴一起記單詞" -Where"d you learn that word? -"Words With Friends." -哪個小伙伴

　艾倫? -電腦隨機挑的 -What friends, Alan? -You can set it on random. 艾倫

　你不僅害得一條高速公路封鎖了... Alan, aside from the fact that you shut down a freeway... 還害死了一只野生動物

　全國都鬧得沸沸揚揚 you murdered a wild animal. It"s national news. 我為擺平你這件事花的銀子你想都不敢想 You don"t want to know the checks I had to write to fix this. 別扯了

　咱們是土豪 Oh, please. We"re rich. 咱們什么也不是

　艾倫 We are not anything, Alan. 我生活寬裕

　你是我 40 歲的兒子... I am well-off. You are my 40-year-old son... 42

　我 42 歲了 Forty-two. I"m 42! 42 歲還賴在家里啃老的兒子

　42-year-old son who still lives at home. 你必須回去繼續接受藥物治療

　不然我就不給你錢花 You are to go back on your medication or I"m cutting you off. 別裝了

　飯好了沒? You"re bluffing. When"s dinner? 你媽媽和我都已經忍♥無可忍♥了 Your mother and I can"t take this anymore! -你們大概還是得忍♥

　-我不忍♥了 -Well, you might have to. -I can"t do it! 我受不了了 I cannot do this! 艾倫

　艾倫 Alan! Alan! 天啊

　他的嗓音跟天使似的 My God, he"s got the voice of an angel. 簡直動人心弦 It"s breathtaking. 我沒法相信我父親已經死了 I can"t believe my daddy is dead. 有那么多人

　我寧可他們比我父親先死 I can think of so many people I would rather have died first. 比如我母親 Like my mother. 正如你們大多數人所知... As many of you know... 我父親和我關系很近 my father and I were extremely close. 他曾是我的人生伴侶 He was my life partner. 他經常告訴我

　幾乎是每天一次... He would often tell me, almost on a daily basis... 我是他最喜歡的孩子 that I was his favorite child. 我會銘記他給我的遺言: I"ll always remember the last words he said to me: "我為你自豪

　艾倫 "I"m proud of you, Alan. 永遠不要改變Never change." 是啊... Well...

　我聽得很清楚

　爸爸 I heard you loud and clear, Daddy. 我絕不改變 I will never change. 永遠不會 Never, ever. 哦

　媽媽 Oh, Mom. 到你了

　神父 Go ahead, chief. 習德·加納是一位受人愛戴的丈夫... Sid Garner was a beloved husband... 父親和鄰居 father and neighbor. 難熬的一天啊 Wow, rough day. -是啊

　翠西怎么樣了? -不怎么好 -Yeah, how"s Tracy doing? -Not great. 她媽幾乎完全崩潰了

　雪上加霜的是... Her mother"s totally on the edge, and if all this weren"t enough... 艾倫已經放棄治療快六個月了 apparently Alan"s been off his meds for almost six months. 天啊 Oh, boy. 是啊

　本來就很糟了 Yeah, it has not been pretty. -又來了這他媽一樁長頸鹿的事

　-我倒覺得挺搞笑的 -Then there"s the whole fucking giraffe thing. -I thought that was pretty funny. -什么? -得了吧

　他只不過搞死了一頭長頸鹿 -What? -Come on. He killed a giraffe. 又不是殺人放火 Who gives a fuck? 我本來不想說什么的

　可是艾倫最近一直來我辦公室 You know, I wasn"t gonna say anything, but Alan"s been stopping by my office lately. 你搞笑呢吧

　他去干嘛? You"re kidding me. What for? 我不知道

　他就坐在候診室里讀"天才寶寶" I don"t know. He just sits in the waiting room and reads "Highlights" magazine. 填填字謎

　能做多少算多少

　然后離開 Fills in the puzzles, whatever he can, and then leaves. 看

　Check it out. -哇

　-天啊

　你準備拿他怎么辦? -Wow. -Jesus, what are you gonna do with him? 其實

　我正要和你們談這件事的 Actually, I wanted to talk to you guys about that. 琳達很想給他送他去療養院 Linda really wants to stage an intervention for him. "療養院"? 真的假的? An intervention? Really? 我覺得聽起來很不錯 I think that sounds like a great idea. 是啊

　不過問題是... Yeah, the thing is... 她很肯定除非我們都在場

　不然他是不會同意的 she"s pretty convinced he won"t agree to it unless all of us are there. 你知道他什么德行的 I mean, you know how he is. 我得考慮考慮

　感覺有點過 I don"t know. It seems a little extreme to me. 天啊

　看他現在 Oh, God. Look at him now. 好吧

　算上我

　什么時候? Okay, I"m in. When are we doing it? 我們今天和翠西談過了... So we talked to Tracy today... 她說他們發現那里的醫療設施很棒 and she said that the treatment facility that they found is really nice. 環境很好

　我在網上查了查

　名聲也不錯 It"s beautiful. I checked it out online. Great reputation. 那又怎樣? 那鬼地方在亞利桑那 Who gives a fuck? It"s in Arizona. 開兩天的車就為去那鳥不拉屎的地方? We gotta go on like a two-day drive for this shit? 又來了 Here we go. 他們應該省點錢

　送他去減肥訓練營 They should just save their money and send him to fat camp. -菲爾

　-怎么? -Phil. -What? 他該減肥了

　減完肥

　找個妹子 He should lose weight. He"ll find a woman.

　這才是他需要的

　那家伙太孤獨了 That"s what he needs. The dude"s lonely. 要是他這么孤獨

　你們倆干嘛不多陪他會兒 If he"s so lonely, why don"t the two of you spend more time with him? 不

　相信我

　你不會樂意的 No, trust me, you don"t want that. 不

　你絕對不會樂意的 No. You definitely don"t want that. 別嘛

　他也沒那么壞 Come on. He"s not that bad. 最糟能糟到哪去呢? 紋身? I mean, what"s the worst that"s happened? The tattoo? 是啊

　紋身是最糟的了 Yeah, the tattoo"s the worst. 對吧? Right? 絕對的

　紋身是最糟的了

　噩夢啊 Definitely. Tattoo was the worst. Nightmare. 說到這個

　你有沒有去檢查過? Speaking of which, you ever get tested? 什么? Excuse me? 因為墨水 You know, because of the ink. 其實指的是上一部司徒被泰國人妖爆菊的事 進入了你的身體 That went inside you. 我沒事 I"m fine. -保重

　-好吧

　明天好運 -Take care. -All right, good luck tomorrow. 多謝 Oh, thanks. -我 11 點來接你

　-好極了 -I"ll pick you up at 11. -Perfect. 多謝了 Thank you so much. 謝了 Thanks. -再次感謝你們都能來

　-應該的 -Again, thank you so much for coming. -Oh, of course.

　這位是尼克

　尼克是艾倫的小伙伴 This is Nico. Nico is a good friend of Alan"s. -你好啊

　哥們

　-你好

　你好 -What"s up, bros? -Oh, yeah, hey. 那是布蘭卡 And that"s Blanca. 布蘭卡從艾倫還是個嬰兒的時候就跟我們一起了 Blanca"s been with us since Alan was a baby. -你好

　-你好 -Hello. -Hello. 這是提摩西

　提摩西住在街對面 And this is Timothy. Timothy lives across the street. 他和艾倫一起游泳 He and Alan swim together. -嘿

　怎么樣啊

　小伙子? -挺好 -Hey, what"s up, little man? -Hey. -大家坐吧? -好啊 -Why don"t you guys take a seat? -Yeah. 翠西和艾倫一起在回來的路上 Tracy"s on her way back with Alan right now. 顯然

　他對此一無所知

　所以氣氛可能會有點緊張 Obviously, he has no idea this is coming, so things might get a little intense. 但是

　無論發生什么

　記住: But, no matter what happens, remember: 這都是為了艾倫好 This is all about Alan getting better. 老媽

　我要雪頂奧利奧

　現在就要 Mother, Oreo smoothie, now! 哦 Oh. -嘿

　大家好

　-嘿 -Hey, everyone. -Hey. 嘿

　提摩西

　現在去游泳是不是有點冷了? Hey, Timothy. Little cold for a swim, isn"t it? 哇

　你今天去碼頭了

　怎么樣? Oh, wow. Look. You went to the pier today. How was that? -我們玩得不錯

　-是啊 -We had a great time. -Yeah. 我在電玩城玩了大概 45 分鐘

　累壞了 I played skee ball for, like, 45 minutes. It was a pretty sick workout. 怎么回事?

　What"s going on? 呃

　先坐下來吧

　哥們? 我們只是想和你談一談 Uh, ahem, why don"t you have a seat, bud? We just want to talk to you for a sec. 好吧 Okay. -嘿

　菲爾

　-嘿

　好誒 -Hey, Phil. -Hey. Yeah. -好誒

　-這是干嘛呢到底? -Yeah. -What"s going on? 好吧

　被你耍了 Oh, you got me. 這樣的

　艾倫... So, Alan... 我們都在這

　是為了告訴你一個酷斃了的地方... we"re all here to tell you about an awesome place... 叫"新視界" called New Horizons. 是聽起來挺酷的 That does sound awesome. 艾倫

　這是個療養院 Alan, this is an intervention. 什么? A what? 媽媽 Mom. 艾倫 Alan. "我很愛你

　我們都愛你 "I love you so much. We all do. 但是我們不能再自欺欺人了 But we can"t keep lying to each other. 自從你出生

　我只想..." Ever since you were a baby, all I want... " 天啊

　沒人覺得這很無聊嗎? Oh, my God, is anybody else falling asleep? 艾倫

　聽著 Alan, listen. -不是我說

　老媽

　但你實在太無聊了

　-艾倫先生 -No offense, Mom, but you"re boring. -Mr. Alan. 你也來湊熱鬧? Oh, now you?

　"我服侍了你 30 年 "I pick up after you for 30 years. 我替你打掃屋子

　我看到了誰也不該看到的東西 I cleaned your room. I see things no one should ever see. 但是我依舊為你祈禱 But I pray for you. -艾倫先生

　大家..."

　-嘿 -Mr. Alan, everyone... " -Hey. -把它擦干凈

　-艾倫 -Someone should clean that up. -Alan. 艾倫

　你狀態很不好 Alan. You are not well. 你放棄了治療

　現在明顯很困擾你的家人 You"re off your meds and you"re clearly upsetting your whole family. -胡說八道

　-艾倫

　要是你答應... -That"s baloney. -Alan, if you say yes to this... 我們今天就開車送你去

　我保證你回來以后脫胎換骨 we drive you there today, and I promise you will come back a changed man. 什么我們? 什么意思

　"我們"? 我們是誰? Who"s we? What do you mean, "we"? Who"s we? 我們

　我們所有人

　司徒

　菲爾

　還有我和你 We. All of us. Stu, Phil, me, you. 你也去

　菲爾? You going, Phil? 我愛你

　艾倫 I love you, Alan. 嘿

　艾倫

　餓了嗎? Hey, Alan, you hungry? 要不要吃麥當勞? You wanna get some Arby"s? 不用了

　謝謝 No, thanks. 我早就想跟你說了

　你那件背心酷斃了 You know, I meant to tell you earlier, that"s a really cool vest you got on. 謝了

　菲爾

　是我爸的 Thanks, Phil. It was my dad"s. 他穿著這件死的 He died in it. 哇 Whoa. 夠給力的

　That"s intense. 嘿

　艾倫

　你做得真的很勇敢

　我們為你自豪 Hey, Alan, just want to say what you"re doing is really brave. We"re proud of you. 是啊

　你會沒事的 Yeah, you"re gonna do great. 停車

　我不干了 Stop the car. I don"t want to do this anymore. -什么? -我改變主意了 -What? -I changed my mind. 艾倫

　你不能改變主意

　大家都看好你呢 Alan, you can"t change your mind. Everybody"s counting on you. 我這樣就挺好

　我要回家 I"m fine just the way I am. I want to go home. 立刻掉頭

　求你了

　我不想... Turn the car around. Now, please! I don"t... 這他媽什么意思? What the fuck was that? -天啊

　他故意的

　-快別擋他的路 -Oh, my God! He"s doing it on purpose! -Get out of his way! 我知道

　我知道 I am, I am. -嘿

　嘿

　快他媽滾開

　-你得跟他好好交流 -Hey! Hey, get the fuck off! -You have to exchange information. -為什么? -天啊

　菲爾 -Why? -Jesus. Phil! -菲爾

　菲爾

　-媽的 -Phil! Phil! -Oh, shit! -離他遠點兒

　-我盡力了 -Get away from him! -I"m trying! -當心

　-媽的 -Look out! -Oh, shit! 媽的

　媽的 AW, shit! Oh, shit. 媽的 Shit! 快

　快

　快 Go, go, go! 鎖門

　道格

　鎖門 Lock your doors! Doug, lock your doors! 靠

　怎么回事? Shit! What"s going on?

　他媽的...

　等等 Get the fuck... Hang on! -救命

　-放手

　他媽的混♥蛋♥ -Help! -Let go, fucking asshole! -司徒

　我們沒事

　-我們在電梯里 -Stu! We"re okay. -We"re in an elevator! 你在哪兒? Where are you? 這到底怎么回事? What the fuck is going on? 求你了

　這是個天大的誤會 Please, this is a huge mistake. 你們抓錯人了 You got the wrong guys! 我他媽的抓的就是你們 I got the right fucking guys! 拎他起來

　拎他起來

　把他放這兒 Get him up. Pick him up. Put him here. 你是黑道格

　那是黑道格 You"re Black Doug! That"s Black Doug! 不許這么叫我

　把嘴閉上 Shut the fuck up with that. Shut the fuck up. 天啊

　的確是 Oh, my God. It is. 艾倫

　快告訴我

　黑道格綁我們干什么? Alan, tell me right now, why is Black Doug kidnapping us? -我都說了他媽不準那么叫我

　-抱歉 -I said don"t call me that shit no more. -Sorry. -不是艾倫的問題

　-多謝啊

　黑道格 -It ain"t Alan"s fault. -Thank you, Black Doug. -他媽的

　-道格 -Motherfucker! -Doug! 道格 Doug! -就叫道格

　好不好? -好 -Just Doug, okay? -Yeah. 你為什么這么做? Why are you doing this? 因為... Because... 我命令的

　I told him to. 我是馬歇爾 I"m Marshall. 也許你們不知道... And whether you know it or not... 我們有一些共同點 we all have something in common. 這要從 4 年前這個弱智給這個傻♥逼♥賣♥♥錯了藥... And it all started four years ago when this moron... 開始講起 sold the wrong drugs to this dumb fuck. 你們完全不了解那天晚上在那該死酒水店的停車場里的事 You have no idea the chain of events that were set in motion that night... 引發了多大的蝴蝶效應 in the parking lot of a fucking liquor store. 怎么樣啊

　黑鬼? What up, nigga? 你說什么? Excuse me? 放松

　我不是條子

　就是來鎮上過夜的 Chill out, I"m not a cop. Just in town for the night. 我和我哥們想找點刺♥激♥ Me and my boys looking to get our freak on. 你把迷♥藥♥賣♥♥給艾倫 You sold Alan roofies. 哦

　媽的

　我當時肯定弄混包裝了 Oh, shit. I must"ve mixed up the bags. 我的錯

　艾倫 My fault, Alan. 該死

　馬歇爾這次肯定饒不了我 Damn. Marshall gonna be pissed off at me on that one. 該死

　馬歇爾這次肯定饒不了我 Damn. Marshall gonna be pissed off at me on that one. 馬歇爾? Marshall? 你就是馬歇爾 You"re Marshall. 就因為那件事你把我們帶到這鬼地方? You brought us out here because of that? 不是因為那件事 You"re not here because of that.

　是因為有個不知從哪冒出來的中國佬跑到我的地盤撒野 You"re here because some Chinaman I never heard of strolls into my town... 還帶走我的手下 and takes one of my guys off the street. -周先生? -對 -Mr. Chow? -Yes. 就是他媽的萊斯利·周先生 Yes, Mr. Leslie fucking Chow. 是你讓他這顆老鼠屎攪進了我的生活 You introduced a virus into my life. 哦

　天

　他都做了些什么? Oh, God, what did he do? 他爆了我的菊花 He fucked me in the ass. 哦

　這事他常做 Oh, he does that from time to time. 不是真的爆菊 Not literally. 天 Jesus! 你那爛事發生過去幾周之后

　我收到消息... A few weeks after your bullshit, I get word... 有位阿♥拉♥伯酋長從阿布達比來 this sheik is coming in from Abu Dhabi. 他想做幾筆不怎么合法的買♥♥賣♥♥ He was looking to make some less-than-legal investments. 他帶著兩個老婆... He brought his two wives... 還有價值四千二百萬美元的金條 and $42 million in gold bars. 這一票截得易如反掌 It was a lay-up. 趴下

　趴下 Get down! Get down! 我們劫走了全部金條 We took it all. 兩輛車

　每輛裝著價值兩千一百萬的金條 Two vans, each with 21 million in gold. 我的人兵分兩路 My guys split up. 一隊順利回來了...

　One of them made it back... 另一隊卻沒有 one of them didn"t. 有問題嗎

　長官? Is there a problem, officer? 沒有了

　混♥蛋♥玩意 Not anymore, motherfucker. 萊斯利·周偷了我兩千一百萬美元... Leslie Chow stole $21 million from me... 還是在周二 on a Tuesday. 哦

　天啊 Oh, God. 我到處找他 I looked everywhere for him. 但他人間蒸發了 But he"s gone, no one can find him. 直到有一天這混♥蛋♥在曼谷被抓了 Until the little cockroach got himself pinched in Bangkok. 我去監獄看他 So I pay him a visit. 給他開了個條件 I offer him a truce. 如果他告訴我金條的下落 I won"t touch a hair on his head. 我不會碰他一根頭發 I just want him to tell me where my gold is. 他不肯說話 He refuses to talk. 不僅不跟我說話... Not only does he refuse to talk to me... 跟外面的所有人都沒有交流... he has no communication with anyone from the outside... 除了你 except you! 喂... Hey... 憑什么打我 It"s unfair! 艾倫

　你和周還有聯絡? Alan, you been talking to Chow?

　-他們經常通信

　-嘿

　那是我的隱私 -They"ve been writing letters. -Hey, those are private! "親愛的萊斯利

　麥當勞又賣♥♥烤汁豬排堡了 "Dear Leslie, OMG, the McRib is back! 真不明白為什么被停賣♥♥那么久?" Why was it ever gone?" 就是說啊 Exactly! "親愛的艾倫

　今天我把尿撒到監獄看守身上 "Dear Alan, I threw urine on prison guard today. 然后嫁禍給了室友

　真希望你也在這兒" Blamed it on cellmate. Wish you were here." 是啊

　我多希望我在場 Yeah, I wish I could"ve seen that. 一封又一封的廢話... Letter after letter of total nonsense... 除了一條線索: except for one common thread: 你們幾個 You guys! 狼幫四少 The wolf pack. 額滴神啊

　艾倫 Jesus Christ, Alan. 五周以前

　周從安全級別最高的監獄逃了出來 Five weeks ago, Chow escaped from maximum security detention. 靠 Oh, fuck. 他偷偷藏在一艘貨船里偷渡到了西海岸 He stowed aboard a shipping freighter bound for the West Coast. -他在哪? -我不知道 -Where is he? -I don"t know. 艾倫

　你要是知道他在哪

　現在立刻告訴他 Alan, if you know where he is, you tell this man right now. 菲爾

　我發誓不知道

　幾個月我都沒收到他的信兒了 Phil, I don"t know, I swear. I haven"t talked to him in months. 看來是要吃罰酒了 We gotta do it the hard way. -不

　-要干什么? 嘿 -Oh, no! -What the fuck? Hey! -我們走

　-嘿

　不

　在搞什么?

　-Let"s go. -Hey! No! No! What the fuck? 你們干什么? Whoa, what are you doing? 道格是人♥質♥

　我把他帶走了 Doug is my insurance. He stays with me. 你們把周給我帶來

　要不然我爆了他的頭 You don"t give me Chow, I blow his brains out. 你們報♥警♥的話... You go to the cops... 我也會爆了他的頭 I blow his brains out. 瘋了吧你

　我們怎么會知道他在哪 That"s insane! We don"t even know where the fuck he is! 沒人知道 No one does. 但我想

　要是有人能找到他

　一定是狼幫四少 But I figure the wolf pack has the best chance of finding him. 你們有三天的時間 You have three days. 快去吧 Get to work. 能不能換成司徒? Can you take Stu instead? 去你的

　艾倫 Fuck you, Alan. 媽的 Shit. 媽的 Shit! -艾倫

　-怎么了

　菲爾? -Alan. -Yeah, Phil? 我需要你滾過來幫我咬開手上的繩子 I need you to roll over here and chew off these hand-ties. 好 Okay. -哦

　-該死 -Oh. -Damn it! 媽的 Ow. Oh, fuck! -不小心多滾了一圈

　-別壓著我 -Got a little too much steam. -Get off me.

　好吧

　我晃下來 All right, let me just shimmy down. -你能不能別亂動? 別動

　-啊 -Would you just hold still? Hold still! -Ow. 救命啊 Help! 救命啊 Help! 真♥他♥媽♥的 Holy shit. 我們該怎么做

　司徒? What are we gonna do, Stu? -我們得報♥警♥

　-報什么警

　不能報♥警♥ -We"re gonna go to the police. -Oh, no, we"re fucking not. 你聽到他說的了吧? Did you hear that guy? 他會殺了道格

　句號♥ He will kill Doug, period. 周真是個老鼠屎 Chow is a cancer. 從我們認識他開始就禍害我們 He"s been a cancer since the first day we met him. 我們把他交給馬歇爾

　這樣就行了 We"re gonna hand him over to this guy Marshall and then it"s done. -嘿

　菲爾

　-艾倫

　等會 -Hey, Phil. -Alan, not now. 我需要你

　司徒

　我一個人做不到 But I need you, Stu. I can"t do this alone. 一個人做什么? 我們根本不知道他在哪 Do what alone? We have no idea where he even is. -菲爾

　-怎么了

　艾倫? -Phil. -What, Alan? 我一直想告訴你

　前幾天我收到了一封奇怪的郵件 I was gonna say I got this strange e-mail the other day. 當時我不知道什么意思

　不過現在想來很可能是周發的 I wasn"t sure what it meant, but now I think it might be from Chow. "胖子

　外邊的世界真美好 "Fatty, it feels good to be out. 我去找你

　別告訴別人

　保持聯絡 I"m close by. Tell no one. I"ll be in touch. 周"

　Chow." 這寫著"周"

　你怎么能不知道是周發的? This says "Chow." How did you not know this was from Chow? 那時候我以為"周"是西語里"再見"的意思呢 At the time, I thought it was "Chow" like "goodbye." 就像意大利語里的"再見"一樣 You know, like, "Chow, arrivederci." -從意大利來的還有勝百諾

　棒約翰

　-我給他回信 -You know, Sbarro, Papa John"s. -I"m writing him back. 等等

　先等一下 Whoa, wait, wait. Just hold on. 告訴他你很高興他出來了

　很想見他 Gonna tell him you"re happy he"s out and you"d love to see him. 喔

　我確實很想見他 Ooh, I would love to see him. 你知道現在什么情況嗎? Do you even know what"s going on? 我知道

　菲爾在忙活著

　我在協助他... Yes, I do. Phil"s doing all the work, I"m his assistant... -而你卻傻站著

　-我跟他安排碰個面... -you"re standing there looking like an idiot. -I"m gonna arrange a meeting... -然后把他拿下

　-"拿下"? -and we"re gonna take him out. -"Take him out"? 我們要怎么把他拿下? Who says that? How do we take someone out? 給他下藥 We"ll use drugs. 處方藥 Prescription drugs. 那些牙醫可以開的藥 You know, the kind a dentist has access to. 希望你能找到一個牙醫給你們開假處方 Good luck finding a dentist who will write fake prescriptions. 哦

　已經找到了

　他叫司徒·布萊斯 Oh, I know one. His name is Stuart Price. 現在我們去找家藥房♥吧 Now let"s go find a fucking pharmacy. 喔

　你嘗到厲害了吧

　小子 Whoo! You just got schooled, son. 你來不來? Are you coming or not?

　我覺得這個計劃不好 I don"t like this plan. 好吧

　那再見了 Okay, then. Ciao. 我特么太有幽默感了

　哥們 I got a pretty dope sense of humor, bro! 處方藥 這么大劑量加上注射器太可疑了

　去看看 This amount with syringes is just weird. Go check it out. 有什么問題嗎? Everything okay? 你要的這些太奇怪了 Well, it"s just a strange request. 這么大劑量的藥物

　和一包注射器 This drug in this amount and a pack of syringes. -有些可疑啊

　-嗯 -It"s just a little weird. -Yeah. 是個緊急情況... It"s just kind of an emergency, so... 奇怪的藥方

　慌張的神情

　再加上你狼狽的樣子 See, that right there, and you"re acting all fidgety, plus you look like shit... 這些對我們來說都是危險信♥號♥♥ in our business, these are all red flags. 我得給你的醫生打個電♥話♥

　證實一下 I need to call the doctor, make sure everything"s okay. 啊哈

　你真走運

　因為我就是開處方的那個醫生 Aha. You"re in luck, because I actually am the prescribing doctor. 天啊

　又一個危險信♥號♥♥ Oh, boy. Another red flag. 上面寫著你是個牙醫 It says here you"re a dentist. 對

　牙科醫生 Yeah. Doctor of Dental Science. 這簡直是胡鬧 This is fucked up. 嘿

　老爸? Hey, Dad? 我碰到了一個活生生的癮君子 I think we got a live one. 怎么樣了? How"d we do?

　很好

　我拿到了杜♥冷♥丁♥

　注射器... We did good. I got Demerol, a pack of syringes... 還差點丟了我的牙醫資格證 and almost lost my dental license. -有周的消息嗎? -還沒有 -What about Chow? Anything? -No. 看看這個

　他大約 20 分鐘前給我發了郵件 Oh, look at this. He e-mailed me like 2O minutes ago. 艾倫

　我們已經在這兒坐了... Alan, we"ve been sit... 趕緊把電♥話♥給我 Give me the phone, please. -他說什么了? -哇 -What does it say? -Oh, wow. 他想 8 點和艾倫見面

　要艾倫一個人去 He wants to meet Alan tonight at 8. It says come alone. -去哪見面? -一個車站 -Come alone where? -A bus stop. 在提華納(墨西哥西北部城市) In Tijuana. 提華納超贊的 Tijuana"s the bomb. 哦

　媽的 Oh, fuck. 不

　這簡直完美

　那地方離這里大概只有三小時車程 No, that"s perfect. No, it"s like a three-hour drive from here. 是啊

　司徒

　看看地圖再說話 Yeah, Stu, try reading a map. 艾倫

　你自己郵件都讀不好還有臉說我 Yeah, Alan, try reading anything ever. 是啊

　司徒

　說話的時候把你那大板牙收收 Yeah, Stu, try not having such big horse teeth. 好了

　我們計劃一下 All right, we need a plan. 他們要在一個公共車站的長椅那見面... They"re meeting on a bus bench in a public place... 艾倫要說服周去一個隱蔽點的地方 so Alan needs to convince Chow to go someplace more private. 一個我們可以偷偷靠近他給他下藥的地方 Someplace where we can sneak up on him and drug him. 比如哪里?

　Like where? 不知道

　小巷什么的吧 I don"t know, like an alley. 電影院怎么樣? What about a movie theater? 靠

　這個主意還真不錯 Fuck, that"s actually a great idea. 燈光一滅... The lights go down... 我們去他后面一排

　給他來一針

　就搞定了 we take the seats behind him, we jab him and it"s fucking done. 我來給他打♥針♥吧

　我以前給別人下過藥 I"ll jab him if you want. I"ve drugged people before. 是啊

　給我們下過 Yeah, us. 沒別的意思

　不過我們不會讓你再碰藥物了 No offense, but we"re not letting you handle any drugs. 你會弄出人命的 You"ll kill someone. 拜托

　我可是行家 Oh, please, I"m an expert. 還記得在泰國吃的棉花糖嗎? Remember the marshmallows in Thailand? 怎么? Yeah? 我減小了劑量

　得吃三顆以上才會致命 I made it so you could eat at least three before hitting a fatal dose. 等等 Wait. 你的意思是

　如果我吃了四顆就會死翹翹? So you"re saying I would"ve died if I had had four? 沒人能吃四顆棉花糖的

　司徒 Nobody eats four marshmallows, Stu. 就因為這狗屁理論

　我才活到現在? That insane theory is the only reason I"m still alive? 是的

　順便說一句

　不用謝 Yes! And you"re welcome, by the way. 你差點殺了我

　還有臉說"不用謝" Don"t say "you"re welcome" for almost killing me. -好吧

　-謝謝 -Fine. -Thank you.

　-不用謝

　-該死 -You"re welcome. -Goddamn it! 距提華納市

　52 英里 墨西哥 提華納

　世界旅游之都 哦

　天啊 Oh, God. 你是對的 You know, you were right. 對什么? About what? 去亞利桑那州的那個療養院

　對他根本沒用 That place in Arizona. It"s not gonna help him. 沒有地方能夠治好這家伙 There is no facility that can fix this guy 我們下輩子得一直琢磨著怎么對付他... We"re gonna spend the rest of our lives dealing with him... 因為我們是他的全部了 because we"re all he has now. 明白了嗎? 我們別無選擇 You realize that? We"re it. 我靠

　快看 Oh, shit, check it out. 是周嗎? Is that Chow? 嘿

　胖子 Hey, fat stuff. -萊斯利

　-打住 -Leslie. -Uh-uh-uh. -淡定點

　往前看

　-好吧 -Act cool. Eyes forward. -Yeah, okay. -有人跟蹤你嗎? -我沒發現 -Anyone follow you? -No, I don"t think so. 很好

　很好 Good, good. 哥得保持低調

　因為哥是通緝犯 Gotta keep low profile right now. Chow wanted man. 誰也不能信 Can"t trust anyone. 快點

　啵兒我一下

　快

　快

　快 Quick, give me some sugar. Come on, come on, come on.

　搞什么? What the fuck? 他親了他? Did he just kiss him? 聽著

　我現在遇到點麻煩

　艾倫 Listen, I"m in a bit of a pickle, Alan. -我需要一個小伙伴

　-我就是你的小伙伴

　萊斯利 -I need a friend. -Well, I"m your friend, Leslie. 完全正確

　這就是我為什么叫你出來 Exactly. That"s why I called you down here. 你是這世上我唯一能相信的人 You"re the only person I can trust in this shit-hole of a life. 不是這樣的

　司徒和菲爾也是你的小伙伴 That"s not true. Stu and Phil are your friends. 哦

　是嗎? Oh, really? 有意思 That"s interesting. 他們在哪? Where are they? -在附近

　-附近哪里? -Around. -Around where? 我不知道 I don"t know. -狗&arts;娘♥養♥的

　我讓你一個人來

　-萊斯利 -Motherfucker! I told you to come alone! -Leslie. 靠 Shit. -怎么了? -他要走了嗎? -What happened? -Is he leaving? 我們再聊會兒

　我再啵兒你一個 We"ll talk more! I"ll give you another kiss! 他朝我們過來了 He"s coming this way. 趴下

　趴下 Get down. Get down. -靠

　-萊斯利 -Fuck. -Leslie! 哦

　草 Oh, fuck. -從車里滾出來

　混♥蛋♥

　-萊斯利

　別這樣

　-Get out of the car, you mutts! -Leslie, no! -放開我

　死胖子

　-周

　周

　別沖動 -Get off me, fat clown! -Chow! Chow, calm down! -誰派你們來的? -沒人

　沒有人 -Who sent you? -No one! No. -我們只是想見你

　-騙子

　沒人想見周 -We just wanted to see you! -Liar! No one wants to see Chow! 我們想...

　我們想你了 No, we... we miss you. -神馬? -我們想你了

　周 -What? -We miss you, Chow! -就是這樣

　-對 -That"s it. -Yeah. 我們想你了 We miss you. 你們想我了? You miss me? 很想 So much. 你想周 You miss Chow. 沒錯

　哥們 Yeah, buddy. 我們愛你

　周 We love you, Chow. 我他媽在看些什么啊? What the fuck am I watching? -夠了嗎? -夠了 -Is that gonna be enough? -Oh, yeah. 大概一分鐘起效

　我們可以告訴服務員他喝醉了 This will take about a minute to kick in. We"ll tell the waitress he"s drunk. 等我們到車里的時候

　他會徹底失去知覺 By the time we get to the car, he"ll be out cold. 艾倫

　坐下 Alan, sit down. 唱得真好

　周 That was really nice, Chow. 謝了

　菲爾 Thanks, Phil. 關鍵是要用心唱 The key is to sing from your heart.

　墨西哥是個好地方啊? 你在這里做什么? So Mexico, huh? What are you doing down here? 打炮

　吹♥簫♥

　老樣子

　老樣子 You know, fucking, doing blow. Same old, same old. 喔

　我還迷上斗雞 Ooh, I got into cockfighting. -哦

　斗雞

　聽起來很不錯

　-沒錯 -Oh, cockfighting. That sounds wonderful. -Yes. 基本上來說

　我在這爽翻天了 Basically, been killing it down here. 那樣真不錯

　對吧? That is just terrific. Right? 我是說

　那樣很不錯

　我覺得我們得干一杯 I mean, that"s terrific. I think that calls for a toast. 好主意 I like that. -為爽翻天干杯

　-干杯 -To killing it. -Killing it. 沒錯

　為爽翻天干杯 Yeah, to killing it. 嗯 Mm. 你還好嗎

　周? You okay, Chow? 我不知道

　不如你來告訴我 I don"t know. You tell me. 你有多少公雞

　周? So how many rooster birds do you have, Chow? -啊

　-嗯? -Aah! -Huh? -噓

　不準動

　否則我割開他的脖子

　-天啊 -Shh. Act cool or I open his vein. -Oh, my God. 你們為什么要給可憐的周下藥? Why you wanna drug poor Chow? 不是

　不是

　不是你想的那樣

　有個人叫馬歇爾 No, no. It"s not what you think. There"s this guy Marshall. 馬歇爾? 你們怎么認識那個死胖子的? Marshall? How you know that fat fuck? 他說你拿了他的金條

　他抓了道格 He says you took his gold. He"s got Doug. 除非我們帶你回去

　否則他就要殺了道格

　He"ll kill him unless we bring you back. 這是真的

　我發誓

　這是真的 It"s true! I swear to God, it"s true! 周

　周

　這是真的 Chow. Chow, that"s the truth. 去他媽的 God damn it! 那個混♥蛋♥ That motherfucker. 司徒

　你還好嗎? Stu, you okay? -你還好嗎? -不好 -You all right? -No. 對不起

　周 We"re sorry, Chow. 對不起 We"re sorry. -我們不知道還能做什么

　-下次別對周撒謊 -We didn"t know what else to do. -Next time, don"t lie to Chow. 說得對

　你說得非常正確

　我們犯了一個巨大的錯誤 You"re right. You are so right, and we made a huge mistake. 那么

　我們現在該怎么辦? So, what do we do now? 那得視情況而定 That depends. 我能相信你們嗎? Can I trust you? 這是哪里

　周? What is this place, Chow? 我家 My house. 周曾經是這世上首屈一指的土豪 Chow used to be on top of the world. 他有三套別♥墅♥分別位于三個不同的國家 Had three beautiful homes in three different countries. 但這一套

　我在墨西哥的別♥墅♥... But this one, my Mexican villa... 是我的最愛 this was my favorite. 但一切全他媽完了 And everything got fucked.

　周進了監獄

　我所有的財產都被沒收了 Chow go to prison, all my property seized. 我的房♥子... My homes... 則拍賣♥♥給了出價最高的買♥♥家 sold at auction to highest bidders. 但我知道一些別人不知道的事 But I know something no one else knows. 這套房♥子就是我藏金條的地方 This house is where I stashed the gold. -馬歇爾的金條? -沒錯 -Marshall"s gold? -Yep. 藏在地下室的墻里 Hid it inside the basement wall. 沒人知道那里有金條 No one knows it"s there. 我們得去把金條拿出來 We"re gonna go get it. 等等

　你是說要破門而入? Wait. You mean break in? 聽著

　馬歇爾想要他的金條 Look, Marshall wants his gold. 他會一直追捕我直到他拿到他的金條 And he"s gonna hunt me down until he gets it. 如果我們見到他時拿不出金條

　他肯定會殺了我 If we show up without it, he"ll kill me. 我們不做破門而入的事 We"re not breaking in anywhere. 不是破門而入

　司徒

　是去我家 Not anywhere, Stu. My house. 這很簡單 It"s a piece of cake. 我對這地方了如指掌 I know every square inch of this place. 最妙的是

　房♥子的主人甚至都不知道金條就在那里 The best part, the guy we"re stealing it from doesn"t even know it"s there. 所以他也永遠不會知道金條消失了 So he"ll never know it"s gone. 你們都知道要做什么

　對吧? You guys know what"s going on, right? 你什么意思?

　What do you mean? 如果我說錯了請糾正我

　我們不會闖入這套房♥子 Well, and please correct me if I"m wrong, we"re not breaking into this house. 這套房♥子太小了 This house is too small. 我們要闖入另一套房♥子

　這就是個模型

　對吧

　周? We"re breaking into another house. This is just a model, right, Chow? 什么? 艾倫

　不 What? Alan, no! 我的雞 My chickens! 該死的 Oh, shit! 周

　這他媽怎么回事? Chow, what the fuck? 小心爪子

　它們受過訓練

　很兇猛 Watch out for the claws! They"re trained to kill! 他的嘴好鋒利 His beak is so sharp! 噢

　噢 Ow! Ow! -他媽的

　-別動

　我來幫你們 -Oh, fuck! -Stay still, I"m trying to help. -別開槍

　-給我下去 -Don"t! -Get it off! -真♥他♥媽♥的一槍一個準

　-你瘋了嗎? -Fucking bull"s-eye! -Are you out of your mind? 打死它

　打死它

　打死它 Shoot it! Shoot it! Shoot it! 司徒

　開窗 Stu, the window! -把它丟出去

　-好的

　好的 -Get it out! -Okay, okay! 丟出去 Get it out! 噓

　噓

　噓 Shh, shh, shh. 別掙扎了

　就這樣去吧 Don"t struggle. Let go. 你贏了很多次

　華♥萊♥士♥ You won a lot of fights, Wallace.

　但這次你贏不了的 Not this time. -這些雞他媽的怎么回事? -他們很暴躁 -What the fuck is wrong with those chickens? -They"re angry. 我只給他們喂海♥洛♥因♥ All I feed them is cocaine 和雞肉 and chicken. 這套房♥子真不錯

　周 That"s some house, Chow. 它是我的香格里拉

　可惜現在不是我的了 It was my Shangri-La. Now it"s gone. 你能別在我的車里吐痰嗎? 我了個去 Could you not spit inside my minivan, please? Jesus. 現在誰住在那里? Who lives there now? 一個網絡公♥司♥的百萬富翁

　他從來不住這里 Some dot-com millionai...

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